I went to Timmy’s to get a coffee this morning, and needed something to tide me over until brunch. There are signs all over for their yogurt and berries, so I got one. I love berries, and I like yogurt, and I thought the odds of anyone being able to fuck that combo up were pretty slim.
Slim they may be, but the company that packages this shiite came through with flying colours today in the “we can fuck something simple up, just watch us” category. In the pic above, the inset is how the ads and the corporate website portray their breakfast snack. Can you see a difference? I can’t see a difference. Apparently, neither could anyone at Tim Horton’s.
The yogurt was a sickly-sweet vanilla, and the one word I can think of to use for the “berries” was “glop”. As you can see, the “berries” look kind of like someone took a mouse, turned it inside out, and dropped it into a cup of fluff. This glop has no texture, and a vague raspberry taste combined with a very strong freezer burn taste. Yum! The “blueberries” were like chewing on tripe – they were dried out husks with a distinct leathery texture (think unsweetened, stale raisins). Nasty, nasty, nasty.
Without a doubt, the vilest thing I have ever had the misfortune of ordering from Timmy’s, and a mistake I will not make again.