effects of the second death star’s destruction on endor

I was going through some old e-mail and came across a discussion between me and my old boss at Globix. My boss was our CTO, and we had many, many crucial discussions. They usually started out with a question I asked, such as:

Was the Death Star II close enough to Endor – and was it’s gravity well significant enough – to alter Endor’s orbit enough to kill all the little furry fuckers when it was destroyed?

For important questions like these, his response was always blisteringly fast. In this case, here’s what came back:

Well, I have considered the effects of the destruction of the second death star on Endor many times. These are some of the conclusions I have come up with;

While the death star had considerable mass, I have to believe the empire would have chosen a very dense planet to put it into orbit around. As one could note both rebel and imperial forces appear to be under 1G of force. Since the death star would have an opposition force, the moon of Endor must have had higher then 1G of pull into it’s gravity well. Therefore one must conclude that the destruction of the death star would have had little effect on the native life forms of Endor other then returning them to a normal greater than 1G gravity sans some tidal gravitational force disturbances.

On a more positive note, Since the death star was capable of destroying entire planets it’s power supply must have been pretty powerful. It is my belief that when the death star exploded, from having it’s power source go critical, it would have unleashed huge amounts of lethal high intensity radiation. I foresee the little fury fuckers on the side exposed to the death star being cooked by a giant microwave blast. The ones on the opposite side of Endor eventually being mutated into cannibalistic little fury fuckers and eating themselves into extinction.

Better yet the radiation would have sterilized all those fucking rebel scum who just killed thousands of union workers..

This is the same guy I had a three hour discussion with, including filling two 4×8 white boards, on which spacecraft would win in a winner take all situation (The Doomsday Machine from Star Trek got my vote, because really, there’s no way Kirk should have been able to stop that thing).

I miss those convos.

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