The Needham boys always worried that their sister was adopted. She was very politically correct, declaring in the middle of dinner how inappropriate our conduct was, and then leaving (more food for us). She also didn’t swear a whole lot.
Thankfully, over the years, those fears have been put to rest. My sister knows how to wield the word “fuck” (and many others) with considerable skill, and is no where near as understanding now when people are driving her batshit for whatever reason. Today I got confirmation that she also likes going against the grain when people assume she’ll go with it.
As y’all may be aware, the playoffs start today. Calgary is a huge hockey town. My sister is in Calgary. She’s a transplant. Here’s her story:
Today is Calgary Flames Day at Kieran’s daycare. The kids were encouraged to dress in Flames apparel, or at least red and white.
We sent Kieran to “school” in his little Sens jersey (thanks, Grandad and Mamie!).
GO SENS GO!!!!!!
I know people in Calgary. They are huge Flames fans. Naturally, I forwarded my sister’s email to them. Within ten minutes, Ev responded:
One more time:
It’s the “C of Red.”
Wearing white doesn’t count. How can you tell if what you’re wearing is appropriate? Look at your shirt. If it’s red, it’s okay. If it’s not, it isn’t. For example, a white shirt isn’t okay, because it’s not red.
A little Q & A to set things straight:
Q: Is my Flames home jersey appropriate in the C of Red?
A: Yes, because it’s red.
Q: Is my classic Flames home white jersey appropriate?
A: No, because it’s not red.
Q: But my game-worn black snotty moosehead jersey that I paid $400 for is okay, right?
A: Not red.
Q: Would it be better to go down to Value Village and buy a $8 knocked off Flames t-shirt?
A: Only if it’s a red tshirt.
Q: What other colour shirts would be appropriate?
A: All of the red ones.
Q: Does a wifebeater with a large spaghetti stain count?
A: Yes, although it would be helped by wearing red pants. With the crotch cut out. On your head.
Q: Would a Carolina Hurricanes jersey be appropriate in the Saddledome?
A: Their home jersey is, because it’s red. Unless we’re playing the Hurricanes in SCF, during which it is is appropriate to wear the road white jersey, and let the assembled Flames fans turn it red for you. Best just to avoid the Red Wings jerseys from the get-go.
Q: The C on my road white jersey is red. Is that enough?
A: It is, if you supplement the rest with a red marker.
Ottawa doesn’t have a prayer.
If there was ever any doubt, that doubt has now evaporated.
Welcome to the playoffs.