oh. my. god.

I like dr. pepper. I also like the vanilla cherry dr. pepper. I have no taste, I know, but I like it, so there. I picked this up at loblaws today thinking it was cherry dr. pepper in new packaging, because really, no one sane likes that shit, and they’re always dreaming up new ways to make their product more marketable.

it wasn’t new packaging, and dr. pepper played a cruel, cruel trick on me.

look at those cherries, and you’ll see them dipped in something brown. they don’t look so much like cherries as they do testicles in brown sauce. if I had to guess, I’d say this is the taste the marketers were going for, too.

it wasn’t cherry dr. pepper, it was chocolate cherry dr. pepper, and I didn’t notice it until the first, heinous swig. thank god there was whiskey on hand to wash the taste away.

dear dr. pepper dudes and dudettes:

that was very, very, very, very wrong and mean of you. I would really like to know who the idiot in marketing was who thought this up (although my bet is on Larry, who probably thought the berry dr. pepper was good too). please beat them for me, because I almost barfed.

also, send pictures.

yours craptastically,


dear everyone else:

avoid, avoid, avoid. remember chocolate bubble gum? yeah, it’s like that, but with the added bonus of sickly sweet cherriness. blargh.

4 thoughts on “oh. my. god.

  1. I didn’t think it was that bad, but it’s a little too much going on in one can. How many fucking flavors do you need in one drink?

  2. priior: you know it, hot dog.

    ahms: mountain dew black was drinkable (I finished the bottle, but confess I never bought another). this stuff… yurgh.

    bru: many, apparently. 23 ingredients… plus two!

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